Keeping It Down

You may have asked this question several times in your lifetime just to confirm whether what you heard was right. Could you ever imagine these three words would change the life of a man forever. Yes, it did. A man nicknamed "BABE" (like from the pig movie) who was from a middle class family, who could enjoy only the meagre needs of life like a "Bajaj Hunk" and a "Maruti Suzuki Sx4". I mean to say...He is poor. An avid footballer, he mesmerised the world with his new style of playing which earned him the nickname BHOSADALDO (something God used to constantly call him). He didn't believe in running,  so would play the entire game standing at one place. He made sure no one gave him a pass for which he would have to run. He would immediately sit down on the ground and fake an asthma attack which was pretty convincing. He popularized this technique in a match in which he was down with a terrible illness which has killed milllions in India.......DIARRHOEA...

When you see about 15 people laugh for no reason They don't care for the time nor the season When one amongst them gets constantly teased And all the others look pleased When they discuss football on a strategic level But can't properly kick even a pebble When the same ghisa-pita jokes are received with an applause suddenly they abuse each other without any cause When one man is blamed for all the worldly disasters And his neighbours thigh is in plasters When one is solving dangerous crimes and his neighbour is trying to get his portfolio in the Times When one is blessing people as if he were God And his neighbour is trying to prove his love is not fraud When all one guy is thinking is about his wife And the others are complaining why there isn't a girl in their life When the guys educate the girls about sex And get a response, "then what next?" This is when you know BEIT2011 is on the go !!!

Have you seen the movie "The Man from Earth?", have you heard of people who are trying to become immortal (I recently discovered that someone had tried to become immortal even in CID and it was not long before Dr. Salunkhe and ACP Pradhyuman discovered the secret.......not wonder the series has been running for so long, they are freaking immortal).   Now coming back to the topic........(silence....drum roll......voila) I have met that guy. Yes you heard right, he is alive and here right in India. It was only by chance that a few people discovered his secret. He is a humble (not really) guy who severely condemns any wrong activities and believes in tit for tat punishments along with abuses which is released from his mouth like an A R Rahman melody (If you don't believe me you an ask the bandra auto rickshaw drivers). He is not really keen to show his powers to the world but his aura alone has got him atleast one beautiful and faithful disciple (in order to protec...

                                  He is the man who has sworn to bring love i.e women into the lives of his teammates from the "Best Football Team". He is prepared to dive headfirst in order to save his friends from the long term jinx of being single.                                   The 'Best Football Team' on their first professional appearance had taken the football world by storm when they held the reigning champs (no they weren't) to a draw. This hurt the rival team so much that they cursed my team players that they would remain single forever. The power of this curse was so much that one player broke up with his gf while one turned gay. A few of them wh...

Another hour, another month, another year has passed Being Single has left you outclassed Then out of the blue your phone rings A girl, wow, its like Red Bull just gave you wings. Lengthy conversations take your time Just wrote this line to make it rhyme Likes and dislike of your Goddess are known Every minute, pigeons, with whatsapp msgs tied to their legs, are flown You meet her for coffee, you pay the bill The exhilaration makes you feel that you just climbed a hill Your mind is filled with a beautiful dream Not like the nightmare which make you scream You end up getting married and live a happy life You are so lucky you got an amazing wife A wife who wakes you up with the morning tea How more happy can you be Then the alarm rings, you wake up Your heart skips a beat as you see the empty cup Another hour, another month, another year has passed Being single has left you where you are.

You may have heard about Dr.Who a legend in the TV circles, but there are much better and much wackier docs out there..... in the real world. Dr Hoo or Dr Winnie the Pooh is one such nutcase. A female doc who, in no ways by her actions or words, justifies her gender. Her height too perhaps complements her excessive talking abilities. It is not usually a good thing for a girl to be the tallest human in class, that too in India. Not just in one class, probably every class she took which earned her the nickname "lambi" and no its not glamorous or sweet like "bambi". Dr. Hoo as a child was brilliant in studies, to the point of being called a "nerd". Though on personal experience about her attitude she could've been named "Bookworm Bitch" but I believe that title's  already been claimed by another website more popular than FB I think. Her classmates thought she would probably take up wrestling and show them how to break bones. She surprised...

This isn't some film by utv movie or Yrf starring some actors who don't have a clue bout 'jasoosi'. This is d real deal guys. He is d inspiration behind TV series Byomkesh Bakshi and Sherlock Holmes. The TV series were named Byomkesh Yadav and Sherlockva Sharma, but in order to protect his identity the characters had to be given names that don't lead back to him. He has many a names, many disguises that he used to gain info bout a criminal n put him behind bars. Most of the culprits are waiters at dance bars but he had to move to Hyderabad since d closure of dance bars in Mumbai. Even in his childhood Babua knew he was different. He knew he was destined to fly high. He has been working on them damn 'wings' ever since, but all in vain. He was a difficult child who was more interested in d outside world rather than at home. Every time he went out of d house, the relief on his parents face was evident n they used to celebrate his every outing. They still ...

Every morning there is that pressure, To release that precious treasure, The path to the palace is full of troubles, You run through jungles and even kids blowing bubbles, Your speed might put Usain Bolt to shame, But d journey ends only with relief n not fame, You may use the western throne or the Indian black hole, All that matters is you reach it before you are on a roll. Have a blast..... If u know what I mean.

I never knew the importance of this word, I never knew the impact that this word has....until it happened to me, until I had to put my entire faith on this word alone. Hope. It could never be a good thing to hear from the doctor, "Son, you may just have to change your occupation, because I don't think you may be able to do even one pull-up." I could still see my shoulder hanging out of its socket, my skin stretched beyond belief, mind-numbing pain flowing through my body and I m thinking,"My life has just ended, my career is over, I won't be able to do this anymore". I found myself praying, I found myself hoping that this was all just a dream, I hoped if I could just ask a wish, a wish to turn back time...just a few hours, just enough to find my body in a good state, just enough to stop myself from crying, just enough to have faith..once again. Me and Albert used to joke about this word, used to take it lightly, but we both have had our sh...

When you read the title I am pretty sure the first thought that comes to your mind must be, "Pooh, its just another post about all the famous international players and a dream team". I would partially agree to that, it is surely a dream team but it consists not of the international players. It is comprised of a small group of amateurs who called themselves Main Main Log United  (the 'united' is just to please 2 kaptis) This team had its own share of Messis and Ronaldos who were nicknamed Massi and Bhosadaldo for their skills. While one was a defender, the other was the striker. What characterized them as great players was their dedication to the game, while one broke his hand while trying to execute a difficult manoeuvre which even the great Messi fears to do, the other played an entire game while he was ill with a terrible illness ( read loose motions). I m pretty sure he never used those underpants ever again. We even had our own Gianluigi Buffon , ...

Again I m not talking Taylor Swift's song...... Yeh hain the prem kahaani of the average indian male....in a few words  I like to write a rhyme, I know it ain't a crime, u just choose d right words, or the appropriate curse,  then u send it 2 a gal, thinking it wud mean d world, she sends back a lol, u interpret it as "lots of love", u finaly think it dun, but shes jus having fun, u think she loves u as a whole,  but in reality all she really thinks is, what an asshole End of story... Next day morning, same story...different girl

I am sure you all must have heard about Gareth Bale...yeah yeah the footballer who broke the transfer records. Well, if you are wondering why I have this cheeky attitude towards, most probably the best player in the world, is because he isn't the best. The best is yet to be seen by the world, I know, because I have seen him do the magic in front of me. It took me much time to realize that he had powers which would put him in the leagues of "the Davil" and "the God". That is because he wasn't always this way, there was a time when he sucked. The way he used to play every game "the God" used to say "HES RUNNING SHIT". Little did he know that he was unknowingly chanting "the name" of the future world star. "The God" used to ridicule him to no ends, which I believe made him stronger, with each taunt hatred began to grow within him and he was determined to sin, NO...he was determined to become "THE SIN"....

You may have surely come across several travel blogs where people write about their experience as they travel to different places. Although I appreciate what they do and for their insights on all the locations what really bothers me is how do they manage to travel so often? I m pretty sure you too would've wanted to write about your experiences and share your photos and then it would strike your mind (very cruelly I imagine) that you don't have the luxury to do that simply because you can't afford to. Yes, you don't have money, neither do I (the day you see me posting photos of exotic locations just take the hint that I have become successful.........and rich) But the good news is travel blogs do pay, trust me I googled it. But it requires a lot of patience, love for travelling and a knack for sharing your experiences digitally.The way to get readers attention is to post experiences about locations which haven't been done before or strange unorthodox locations. ...

Life surprises you with new things everyday, let me tell you the "true story" of how a group of 29 innocent young adults were surprised, though I can't say pleasantly. You may have surely heard about people who have this devilish look in their eyes, people whose eyes give a glimpse of a dark background, people whose body bears the scars of great wrongdoings. It is quite easy to identify these people amongst the commoners but what if a guy existed who didn't possess any of the distinguishable characteristics yet could wield such astonishing power that God himself could not shield himself from his wrath. He lives. He lives amongst us, the common men, his eyes constantly searching for new targets for destruction. Adopting a disguise he has managed to gather a place in this world where he thought no one would recognize him until a few students unwittingly put the jigsaw puzzle together. Although he had godly knowledge, he strived to see the world through a man...